Sometimes, OK, a lot of times, I feel bad that I don’t hang around my friends so much. James even told me I should reach out to them, I guess he thinks I’m depressed. Today I keep thinking of how it sucks to not be invited to Halloween, just like last year and this year. One of my friends had ghosted me after my nephew died, that’s why I wasn’t invited last year. I guess, because my nephew died I didn’t get invited this year, too. Well, anyway, the truth is I was glad I was at home. James is too old for Halloween and I just am tired of doing the same shit. I felt like my dad, though, because our new Ring doorbell went off and I hid from the Trick-or-Treaters. LOL. I feel bad for Carlos because he used to love Halloween and I feel like I dragged him down to doing nothing. But he did have an Xray last night, or else he would have made me go to the party I wasn’t invited to, even though I wasn’t invited.

It’s time to stop hiding from the truth. No worries. This is for the best. Changes are coming, I can feel them. I think. Or maybe more of the same. I don’t know.

I’ve been a good friend. I’m not someone who calls anyone. That’s how I’ve been a bad friend. I’ll tell you what, though. When the situation was reversed, I RAN to be with my friend and didn’t leave her side until it was over. I’ve been there for her, she’s dropped me at the most important times in my life, more than once. When I needed her. It’s not her fault, she doesn’t deal with things very well. Just, I’m saying I’m a good friend. Even if I don’t know how to be the friend who calls you every day.

So.

Just, if you read this and you see her, I don’t care if you tell her. I’m too chicken to call her out. That’s bad on me. My bad. My bad.

I’m going to try to write more. Even if this bullshit is the only thing I can think of to write about.

Also, I believe in God. I don’t care if anyone thinks it isn’t cool because they’re Atheists.

This is a beautiful world. We can’t get out to dig for crystals in November because my husband, Carlos, is having surgery on his knee Nov. 8. It’s funny, I can’t be there to take care of him because one of us has to be at work. Since we work together, you know. James is pretty good at taking care of people. He drives me to my back appointments where they put me under and I wake up all doped up so he has to drive me home.

That’s another thing. James’ dad just moved to Florida. At his graduation, I walked by him in the bleachers and he says, “yay, no more parents”. I’m like, WTF was that? Well, he figures his duty is done and he went off with his wife to Florida. I’m positive he will be happy there with all the retirees there. He’ll probably drive them crazy. I just don’t get why he would leave James like that. I’m the opposite. I told James if something happens to Carlos I’m going to move in with him. I told him he should probably have a mom’s suite in the back yard, just in case. I don’t want to actually LIVE with him, but I want to live next door. Or at least in the same region.

Also, I’ve claimed that I don’t get fanatical about anything. To my family, because they geek out at stuff and I always was like, “I’m so cool” and all that. Well, I am geeked out by Blue October, but there are other things. I LOVE listening to Alex Jones most of the time. Sometimes he scares the shit out of me because of his “we’re going to die” rhetoric and I have to give it a break. I kind of care what other people think about me because I listen to him, so I don’t say much about it. I’ve been listening to him for a LONG time, though. Over 10 years for sure. I’m of the opinion it doesn’t make me a MAGA person. Even though I did vote for Donald Trump this time.

What have I become??? AHHHH…

Just kidding. I’m just like many other people who get more conservative as they get older. Plus, now we have this Pedophile President now. It just amazes me people voted for him.. but alas, here we are.

I love Milo’s Unsweet Tea more than any human should. I bring a gallon when we go visit family. Now they already have a gallon or two when I show up. My sister and my sister-in-law both do that. They’re so awesome. Starbucks is another thing, I HAVE to stop by there or else I don’t feel right. It is more of a habit, really.

Now that I’m older, I buy one thing and if I like it, I will buy like 10 more in the same or different colors. Last year I bought like at least 10 flannels. 3 from LL Bean. Then, this summer, I bought like 5 pairs of the same black pants from Land’s End. The owner of the company I work for wants us to wear shirts with the company logo on them. I picked out my 12 from Duluth Trading Co, they make really good shirts. This winter, I am buying all these pants from Columbia. I found a great pair of “leggings” I got for digging for crystals and they’re really comfy.

So. You likely think I’m crazy and I’m here to tell you, I’m crazy. If I’m going to write every day, things are going to be a bit crazy, I’m just sayin. But I’ll make that commitment. If anyone actually gets to the end of this, hello 🙂 I am pretty happy for a human being these days. 🙂