Oops, I did it again. I let myself go on another Facebook rampage.
In an attempt to put a stop to the fighting about something I see as an injustice, I did the very thing I was trying to stop. I was so angry when I saw the headlines, watched video and saw they were lies, that I made a Facebook post ranting and admonishing people for spreading those stories. I just ended up doing the same thing I was trying to stop and ended up helping to pour gasoline on the already inflammatory situation. My method was not the best. It was a knee-jerk reaction. I’m no better than everyone else and the media, who I believe are in the wrong.
This has got me thinking a lot in the last day. As I realize how I let myself fall into the same trap I have fallen into before. It was just like the old days. When I thought I could reason with groups of people on Facebook and try to help them see how they were acting like the people they were against. Well, eventually I ended up having to give up because I realized it was a lost cause. Carlos always tries to help. Bless him, he’s so much more level headed than me. He is the yin or my yang, my voice of reason, the one that gets me to see things from other points of view. Even though it sometimes starts ridiculous fights between us. Still, I love him so much for that.
So this Facebook post turned into another pissing contest. There were sides in the end and I gave up, which I should have done like wayyyyy before I did. It felt like I was being attacked personally, so I attacked back. It was not pretty and it left me depleted and sad. Especially when I realized I was throwing what they were throwing right back at them.
So I have been researching other ways of trying get my message through to people. I need to accept, though, that some are just beyond reach. By the way, some Facebook people are actually paid trolls, FYI. Not that there were any in my post, just FYI if you ever get mad because of a comment on Facebook like I do sometimes. Knowing that makes me feel better about humanity.
Anyway, the whole thing made me realize, we (myself included) often tend to listen to mostly things we agree with or also believe. The thing is, we’re missing out on so much opportunity for growth by doing that. We hear one buzz word, like “conspiracy theorist” (or in my case with JFK research “lone gunman”) and we throw the entire message into the trash.
This has been even been proven to be a tactic used by the media and the CIA to get people to stop researching or asking questions. That’s dangerous. To stop asking questions of our government is highly dangerous.
In addition, listening to something or considering something we don’t agree with can often times threaten our core beliefs. It’s really hard for us to admit our beliefs may be wrong. The reason, it has been said, is that those core beliefs are what some of us use to define us as a person we find acceptable. This is a whole persona we think we have crafted to blend in with similar people to us. To show we are one thing or another. Like, showing we are open minded and progressive by refusing to admit Trump didn’t say something. By trying to prove to everyone of our opinion of him was right, even though the headlines were proven to be misleading and even lies. Even when the facts are right in front of us, we just won’t see it. Some of us are incapable changing our minds because deep down that would mean we were also a trump supporter. That is not acceptable to our core belief. So we never, ever, ever admit we could have been in the wrong. Not to ourselves and certainly not to anyone else, lest we be the very people we despise.
Here is an example of my first refusal to change my mind and then an attempt at growth. A few months ago, I made the decision to try to listen to President Trump (as hard as it is) and really understand him. I wanted to find out what the truth really is. What is he trying to do, really? Despite the painted news stories, what is the truth? Who is this guy? You know how hard that is? It’s very hard. I watched documentaries. I sit through all of the new conferences. I was researching his record and policies, what has he really done these past few years. Then I got distracted by the ‘rona. So now, I’m kind of still in between.
The harder thing, though, was admitting to myself that not everything he has done in his presidency was wrong, in my opinion. Admitting to myself there are some things I think he did that were in the best interest of the country was hard pill to swallow. When I publicly admit that, I fear people may think I am a Trump zombie, unable to think for myself and alienate some of my peers. I can become a racist, according to popular opinion of my peers group (meaning, people i think are similar to my values). Some people will accuse me of “supporting him”, even though I really am not sure I would say I “support” him, because I don’t support 99.9% politicians. Anyone who really knows me can tell you I don’t trust any politician. Or the government. Or anything without checking sources, really.
That’s not something a few people can come to terms with, though. Someone once likened it to death. Psychologist and professor, Jordan Peterson, says some people feel like they are pretty much killing a part of your personality and building something new. That takes a lot and some people go crazy because of it.
The thing is that I want people to know about me.
There is this urge in me, to speak up, is like a burning desire inside of me. Like God is trying to tell me to keep trying to get through to people. So I am trying to figure how to get through and how to find some faith, how to strengthen my armor. How on Earth do other people, like Jordan Peterson, who got pushed into the crazy republican category by the media, for refusing to conform to using gender pronouns. They try and try to make him look crazy. Crazy for being human. For some reason, though, he still keeps getting through to people, especially young men. Truth will flow, no matter what lies you tell. Eventually it will come to light.
I guess that is what it means by the truth will set you free. Except the person who speaks that truth. They get stoned. Not the good stoned, either. Literally, stoned to death. Like JFK, MLK, RFK, and on and on… The truth speakers get silenced. Ask yourself why.
That’s all for now. At least I can feel a little peace now. I’m just trying to help. Honestly.
Contesting Normal 