This morning, like everyone else in this world, I woke up to the news Donald Trump had been elected President of the United States. Last night when I went to bed, it looked like he was taking the lead anyway so I wasn’t surprised.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by what I saw when I logged into Facebook, either. What I found left me feeling this sick and disturbing feeling inside my soul.
Post after post of hatred, finger pointing and blame littered my news feed like burning embers and trash in the street the morning after a riot. As I read accusations, read people spewing vitriol like fonts of lava from their very fingers, predicting and hoping for the demise of every single person who voted for Trump.
As I read my heart hurt like a dagger had been thrust into it. It wasn’t the fact that we had elected a man who is beyond worse than what anyone ever imagined could be or would be president (except The Simpsons, apparently), no. It was because I know Trump being elected is a mere symptom of what our society has become. We are reaping what has been sown for many, many years now.
Notice I said we. That’s the point. There was little accountability to be found out there in cyber land today. Not many people willing to take up the ol plow or say, “Hey. Maybe I should have worked a little harder. I really wish I hadn’t been watching television and checking Facebook every five minutes. If I had only been carrying my own weight, being a concerned and responsible citizen of the world or, at least, paying attention to what was going on I would have seen this coming. Maybe I could have done more to stop it. Now it is time for me to start working to weed this garden and help fix what we have missed all this time.”
So, this is me picking up my place on the plow. Or, at least, my attempt at trying to do the right thing.
For years I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog. I thought, “why? No one wants to hear from me. People are tired of me. I talk too much, anyway”. For the life of me I can not figure out how to help this world. This counselor once told me I had a powerful testimony and I should share it with the world. I took that into consideration and all these years that have passed I have sat on it, figuring I was still living my story and it was too soon.
Now, I feel it is time.
Not for some political blog, though there may be things in here related to politics. What I intend to do is contest normal.
Normal is not working for us anymore. It isn’t and wasn’t ever working for me. I have never felt close to normal and I wander through life worrying there is something wrong with me. But what if the problem isn’t me?
I feel like there are others out there like me. I read their blogs and watch their You Tube videos all the time. People who see things differently. People who feel too deeply. People who don’t look like everyone else. Lonely people. People who eat too much. People who take drugs and drink too much. Shop too much.Cry too much. Avoid too much.
For most of my life I was lost in this fog. It wasn’t until I “hit bottom” and had enough of suffering that I finally admitted I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing in life. Finally I found the courage and asked for the help I so desperately was crying out for in silence for many years.
I have learned that it shouldn’t be about me saying, “I know much more than you and you should listen to me”. Trust me when I say, I get humble pie in my face a lot. I get cocky and arrogant thinking I know better than everyone else. I don’t.
This is about me saying, “Hey. I know you’re hurting. I know we’re suffering out here alone. I’m not saying I know the way out or anything but I see a light ahead and started clearing out a path. You want me to share my tools with you? We can do this together”.
There are many others who have cleared paths before me. There is comfort knowing you’re not the only one who feels a certain way or is having trouble with something. Some of my favorites are Brene Brown, Glennon Melton, Michael Bernard Beckwith and especially Don Miguel Ruiz. You will find me quoting them a lot. Their wisdom means a lot to me.
I am looking forward to this blog. This year has been one I promised to do new things and I can’t wait to see what happens.
🙂
Contesting Normal 